Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Like Sands Through The Hour Glass...

It appears to me I am bragging to everyone about my little girl. I didn't do this until this past week and I am gaining momentum, so hop on back! I told the dental assistant today at my dentist appt. and she had nothing but wonderful things to say. Her sister is trying to adopt from China and it is dragging on and since she is 50+, they may end up not able to do so with China's new "perfect parent" rules...down to your BMI! Jeez. And then Camden has his follow up appt. this afternoon for the pneumonia and I will brag there, too. Incidentally, whatever they gave him at the ER, knocked that nasty right out of him, because he has been bouncing off the walls since that night!

We (I) had a horrible, gut wrenching scare last night. Brodan has a bad cough, maybe bronchitis(I am last-man standing around this joint)and woke up crying around midnightish and so I went to him and lay there for a few minutes. I dozed a bit, not sure how long and then looked at him to see if he was asleep and HE WAS NOT MOVING. I touched him and he was ice cold. I picked him up and he was a limp rag doll. I shook the ever-livin' daylight out of him and pounded his back and he opened his eyes, looked at me, and took a deep breath and said "Mommy". I almost fell apart. That boy was not breathing for at least 20 seconds that I was awake and would not wake up until I shook him like crazy! He really seemed fine, so I think it was sleep apnea. He did it a couple of more times that night (flashbacks of hovering over the crib, check), but not as severely. I am going to ask the doctor today when I take Cam in. It is weird how many thoughts go thru your head in a moment like that. I thought "Shake, pound, CPR" in that order. I also thought about Piper. What if something tragic had happened and I had to get her in 2 weeks. What do you do? If I was pregnant and giving birth 2 weeks later, you have no choice. She is our daughter, so I couldn't leave her there any longer than she has to be. All of that raced thru my head in seconds.

It seems the closer we get to Gotcha Day, the easier it is for me to fall apart. I am very emotional, and I am not an overly emotional person. Pretty much on the normal part of the spectrum. Not lately. And that is so annoying. I guess adoption is just like pregnancy in many ways!

Anyone else overspending?


Maria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maria said...

Aloha Rachel,

I am with you on all accounts, including the spending. This is quite a roller coaster ride but all will go well on Monday and we will be traveling soon after. I look forward to meeting you and Piper.