Saturday, May 26, 2007

Some people need to heal THEMSELVES

Ok, so I have had a nap and can think a bit.

While at the ER, got some of those "Hmmm" remarks from the folks there.

The first one was from the x-ray guy when I told him about adopting from Ethiopia, he asked , "So did you not want to do it from here?" or something to that effect. I rambled some stuff off, and then got annoyed, because a: not his business, and b:I should have a pat answer down by now, and c: who cares what he thinks. Then he told me about his sister who was domestically adopted in the 50's, whose Mom didn't want anything to do with her, etc., so maybe I can see where he was coming from. He may of had an opinion on that stuff, or he could have just been asking out of curiosity.

Then, later, one of the nurses who came to help with what turned out to be Cam's bloodletting, said in response to my comment about Sissy coming home next month, "Ethiopia...does that mean she'll be black?" I smiled and said patiently(and looking back it could come across as patronizingly sweet-smiley patient, which makes me feel a little better)"Yes, she'll be black." And that was it. She didn't ask with the lilt in your voice that you have when you ask a question. It was definitely more flat. To me, that gave me some clues about her....you don't ask that question (and in that way) without being a bigot to some degree (if there are varying degrees, and I tend to think so).

I hope that at some point I don't analyze every comment or question made. I realize right now I am a little hypersensitive(plus tired...it was a long night) and maybe once she is here, people will clam up a bit, who knows? Most are great and that counts for a lot.

3 comments:

Becky said...

Rachel,
If you want to email me (email link in our profile on our blog), I can tell you what I think I know about infants being transferred to the foster home. It may not be 100% accurate, but it may help you.

BTW, my neighbor asked me the same thing when I told her about Kali ... "So, she will be a negro child?" Wasn't sure how to take it, if maybe she was a little worried about that prospect, but they are genuinely sweet people, so I am going on the assumption it was an innocent, honest question.

Becky Page

Mom of 5 said...

Yep- people say the goofiest things. It's amazing and can be offensive. We do not live in a very diverse area so we kind of stick out. Hope Cam is feeling better !!

Maria said...

Sorry to hear you had such a rough weekend. I am quite familiar with blogstalking and am guilty as well. I hope to get a court date in the next few days. I'll keep you posted. I am hopeful we will be traveling together.

Maria
mquinn_kiheihs@yahoo.com